When I ask you where you've been

You look suicidal

One day I'm gonna lock you in a room

With a bed that creaks and a bible

Gonna wait til the wallpaper cracks

I asked you for the truth

We mean different things by that

Maybe my attitude was lax

But oh honey, I want you back

To back with the guy

Who couldn't lie

About circumstances extenuating

A little bird told me you've been mating

Said nothing 'bout a man with two surnames

Said nothing 'bout a man with two surnames

How come you sold your new flat

Can't you pay the rental

Or maybe possessions mean nothing at all

When you're getting transcendental

Gonna make you an offer you can't resist

Try to refuse me eye to eye

It'll mean a good deal

But not a goodbye

I'll let you off the day I die

Til then and there's no knowing when

You look real good in his blue Ferrari

Like Sylvia Kristel, Mata Hari

And I'm haunted by a man with two surnames

I'm driven round by a man with two surnames

Get your name stuck on his windscreen

Barclaycard and Visa

I'll think of a girl I knew back when

Said money could not please her

Is his name double-barreled like my gun

Or does he have a pseudonym for fun

I'm stunned by your logic of all for none

Maybe he's a rich man's number one son

But he's made me number two

No credit to you

I'm sitting here freezing in this cold overdraft

Last time I phoned you

You both laughed

And I'm haunted by a man with two surnames

And I'm haunted by a man with two surnames

And I'm haunted by a man with two surnames

Get him off my back