Here's my keys, I want you to take 'em
I think I'm gonna need you to get back home
Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it
I couldn't stand for something else to be gone
I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin'
I think you'll understand why

[Chorus]
Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker

I came here to get you to help me
I need a friend to see me through
I hated to call, I knew you wouldn't mind at all
I know you know I'd do the same for you
I'm not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow
I may hate myself tomorrow
Oh but

[Chorus]

We need to get to where we can't think of her
So tonight we're the designated drinkers
Oh tonight, we're the designated drinkers