I'm Charley, you know
I'm Norman pleased to meet you
I'm Mickey, hello
Wilko
I'm Johnny, how are you doing Harry?
My name is David
And I'm Ian and guess what?

Oi!
I want to be straight, I want to be straight
I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late.
I want to confirm, I want to conform
I want to be safe and I want to be snug and I want to be warm

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
I want to create a place of my own in the welfare state
Brr, gonna be good, brr, gonna be kind
It might be a wrench but think of the stench I'm leaving behind

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
Come out of the cold and do what I'm told and don't deviate
I want to give, I want to give, I want to give my consent
I'm learning to hate all the things that were great when I used to be bent!

Could be not straightness
Dumb dumb dilley
Might lead to greatness
Dur yuh dumb der
Owing to lateness
My chance has only just arrived, ha

Ow! Straight, straight, straight, straight
Straight, straight, straight, straight
Straight, straight, straight, straight, straight

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late
I know that you're right, I know I was wrong
So thanks very much, please keep in touch, I'll be rhyming along

I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight...