Well done
Why don't you get a job?
Even Tarquin has a job
Mary Berry's got a job
So why don't you get a job?

Well done
Why don't you win a medal?
Even Tarquin wins a medal
Mary Berry's got a medal
So why don't you get a medal?

Well done
I'd rather cut my nose off
To spite my face (woo)
I'd rather bite my nose off
To spite my face

Why don't you get a degree?
Even Tarquin has a degree
Mary Berry's got a degree
So why don't you get a degree?

Well done
Why don't you like reggae?
Even Tarquin likes reggae
Mary Berry likes reggae
So why don't you like reggae?

Well done
Why don't you watch football?
Even Tarquin likes football
Trevor Nelson likes football
So why don't you watch football?

Well done
I'd rather cut my nose off
To spite my face (woo)
I'd rather cut my nose off
To spite my, ah

Get on your bike, she said
Let them eat cake, she said
Well done

I'd rather bite my nose off
To spite my face (woo)
I'd rather bite my nose off
To spite my face