Everyday I lose staring at my filthy room
My dirty laundry but it's covered up by your perfume
Wish I played it smarter but instead I make a bigger wound
I miss my father but for now I'll be the living proof
Of how you show somebody something that was never gave to you
Visions of you karma for those times I said I hated you
Berated you wishing you were younger every time I hit that
Waiting room praying with my mama God the only thing that's
Saving you I know you miss your daughter but your daughter out here
Raising you my nephews working harder painting pictures of what men
Should do it was such an honor but I'm honestly upset with you
Dementia hit the hardest but for now I ain't forgetting you
I'm worried about my mama
Every night she think she next to you
I'm guilty of those hours that
I never got to spend with you
Neglecting my own father because
I thought he was a vegetable
For all those reasons
I don't even feel that I should mention you
Been dealing with some problems I don't like to talk about
I miss my family but they see I'm still not never around
I know my grandma watching over me like in the clouds
I done lost so many friends oh yeah it's hard to count
Years ago I had got fronted for a couple ounce
Made me a target had some money in my bank account
Hit the plug you know I'm calling about another pound
Had to go left who I was back at my mother house
I got some demons and they haunt me when I go to sleep
I been grinding for a check like every single week
It's not enough I gotta work I don't have time to eat
I get this bag so when I'm older we can have some peace
I see this money yeah they hold it right in front of me
They think its funny like I'm not gone try to get a piece
I'm doing better yeah you know I signed another lease
Still fuck 12 they want to kill you out up in the streets
I had to go and go look at what I couldn't see
Never had a model of who I should think to be
I thought what's the point like every single person bleeds
You nothing special what's the difference between you and me
When I was young I was a child I never meant to miss you
I remember late nights waiting for you by the window
Yeah you had taught me something then yeah you had gave me info
That I don't have to live my life like you did by a pistol