Hello subject 3910
We've come to test with you again
Because there are quotas
That we aren't keeping
We'll never meet them if you're
Left sleeping and if the Samba themes we
Beamed into your brain still remain
It's just the sound of science

We kept you dreaming peaceful while
We arranged our portal tiles
'Neath our heartless master's watchful eye
You'll cheat death for us to analyze
Or you'll be stabbed by the
Spikes of a moving wall
That crush your skull
That's just the sound of science


And when you reach the exit door
You'll find ten thousand chambers more!
Although we're not sure what the data means
You'll face acid pit's and laser beams!
As machine-guns ring
And turrets sing your name!
As they take aim!
It's just the sound of science

Fire your portal gun in vain
Each catwalk leads back whence you came!
Hear our words and try to understand:
We do what we must because we can!
And when you're bested by our
Tests and left to fall as do they all!
You heed the call of science!

One by one they bowed and prayed
For the chocolate cake she made!
And should you reach the day
Your science is done
You'll assume the 'Party Position'!
And be escorted to the room full of cake
And definitely not full of flames!
But if there's pain
Your screams are just the sounds of science