If momma was married, we'd live in a house
As private as private can be
Just momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse
Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me
If momma was married

If momma was married, I'd jump in the air
And give all my toe shoes to you
I'd get all those hair ribbons out of my hair
And once and for all, I'd get momma out too
If momma was married

Momma get out your white dress
You've done it before without much success
Momma, godspeed and god bless
We're not keeping score, what's one more or less?

Oh, momma, say yes
And waltz down the aisle while you may
I'll gladly support you, I'll even escort you
And I'd gladly give you away
Oh, momma, get married today

If momma was married there wouldn't be anymore let me entertain you
Let me make you smile
I will do some kicks, wait
I will do some tricks
Sing out, Louise
Smile, baby

Momma, please take our advice
We aren't the lunts, I'm not fanny brice
Momma, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once you wouldn't think twice

It could be so nice if momma got married to stay
But momma gets married and married and married
And never gets carried away
Oh, momma, oh momma, oh momma, get married today