Goin' down a dusty road, I turned my head ‘round
Looking for somewhere to go, a place to lay my head down
Check into a small hotel and there before my eyes
Stood a man with a trumpet in his hand
Trying to make the people understand, he stops and sighs and says

"Half a chance
Give the singers half a chance and they'll sing and dance through the night
Lend an ear, please
And the band will play the things you'll want to hear
There's no doubt
That before tonight is over you'll scream and shout ‘Hip hooray!'
In the meantime
There is only one more thing I'd like to say"

Spoke about the well-known faces appearing in the show
Star attraction of the evening would be Billy with his big banjo
But first of all, a sweet little lady who'd have us all screamin' for more
Lily, the striptease queen with the biggest pair you've ever seen.

Down and down
Went her long black stockings and, as they hit the ground, the boys went mad
Everyone agreed
That it was the greatest time they'd ever had
On and on
Now the night was nearly over except for Billy and his big banjo
Billy sang a song called ‘The Truckdriver Man'
And we joined in for a chorus or two and then I went to bed.

"Half a chance
Give the singers half a chance and they'll sing and dance through the night
Lend an ear, please
And the band will play the things you'll want to hear
There's no doubt
That before tonight is over you'll scream and shout ‘Hip hooray!'
In the meantime
There is only one more thing I'd like to say"