We're like a pair of scissors, partner, you can't get away from us.
Reckon you're stuck with us. Yeah, we're your pals, pal.
Whenever you feel demolished, you must remember this
Things are never as bad as they could be

When friends of old 'departeth', there's one you'll never miss,
I'll be right with you, you can count on me.
You can count on me, you can count on me.
As the adding machine once said, you can count on me.

If you committed murder, and got locked up in jail,
And had to hang until your life was done,
I wouldn't call it murder for inspection not a rope
I'll be by your side till you are gone
I'll be by your side, I'll be my your side

As the flypaper told to the fly, I'll be by your side.
Big deal, big deal, big deal, big deal!
Oh if you miss your mother a million miles from home,
Oh, think of how you once clung to her knee,
And though there is no other, on land or sea or foam,
When you're in doubt, you can cling to me.
Cling to me, cling to me, cling to me, cling to me,
You can cling to me.

If through a lot of 'follery', you lost your last red cent,
I wouldn't even stop to ask you why, to ask you why,
I'll pawn my mother's jewelry, I'll steal my sister's rent,
It's all for you, kid, you can milk me dry.
You can milk me dry, you can milk me dry,
As the cow to the farmer said, you can milk me dry.
O de lay ee, lay ee, o de lay ee ee,
O de lay ee, lay ee, o de lay ee ee
O de lay ee, lay ee, o de lay ee ee
Lay ee, lay ee lay ee o dee lay ee.

On a desert island do we 'coo' at half the spray,
I'll take him into paradise indeed.
If wreak you could if only, bring out some pie I say,
In fact you'll find that I am all you need.

I am all you need, I am all you need,
As the dog told the old tree trunk,
I'm all you need.
I am all you need, I am all you need,
As the dog told the great tree trunk,
I'm all you need.

You can count on me, you can count on me.
As the adding machine once said, you can count on me.
Two four six eight, who do we appreciate?
You can count on me.