Hey, old lady, why you treat me so mean?
Meanest old lady that I've ever seen
You know if meanness was royal, baby, you'd be the queen
And I could be your jester

Hey, old lady, why you treat me so bad?
Meanest old lady I've ever had
I try to make you laugh it's only making you mad
Your sign must be "do not enter"

Mmm, oh, oh, my queen
Won't you, please, won't you, please, won't you, please, love me
Mmm, oh, oh, my queen
Won't you, please, won't you, please, won't you, please, love me

You sell a kiss for a nickel two for a dime
Four for a quarter if you're a friend of mine
You know I want your love I got to get in line
Stand and place my order

Low cut dress and those high heel shoes
You paint your face and you give me the blues
I had to rob a bank just to pay your dues
Please let me cross your border

Mmm, oh, oh, my queen
Won't you, please, won't you, please, won't you, please, love me
Mmm, oh, oh, my queen
Won't you, please, won't you, please, won't you, please, love me

Hey, old lady, why you treat me so mean?
Meanest old lady that I've ever seen
You know if meanness was royal, baby, you'd be the queen
And I could be your jester