Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're cosy and clingin'
Well, sir, all I can say
Is if I were a bell, I'd be ringin'
From the moment we kissed tonight
That's the way I've just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp, I'd light
Or if I were a banner, I'd wave

Ask me how do I feel
Little me with my quiet upbringing
Well, sir, all I can say
Is if I were a gate, I'd be swinging
And if I were a watch
I'd start popping my springs
Or if I were a bell
I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding

Yes, I knew my morale would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked
Boy, if I were a duck, I'd quack
Or if I were a goose, I'd be cooked

Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're fondly caressing
Well, if I were a salad
I know I'd be splashing my dressing
Or if I were a season, I'd surely be spring
Or if I were a gate, I would swing
Have a fling almost any old thing
Or if I were a bell
I'd go ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding, ding dong