Mama's in the kitchen, stirrin' up the stew
I'm raisin' Cain, don't know what to do
She shoots me a look, says "Boy, you're askin' for doom"
"Don't make me go and get the wooden spoon"

Don't make me get the wooden spoon
It stings like the dickens, worse than a breakup in June
I'll tan your hide real good, teach you a lesson you won't forget soon
So straighten up quick, 'fore you feel the wrath of the wooden spoon

Broke Mama's favorite vase, tried to hide the mess
She saw right through my lies, put me to the test
Said, "Son, you've got 'til the count of two"
"Before I introduce your backside to the wooden spoon"

Don't make me get the wooden spoon
It stings like the dickens, worse than a breakup in June
I'll tan your hide real good, teach you a lesson you won't forget soon
So straighten up quick, 'fore you feel the wrath of the wooden spoon

Now I'm all grown up with youngsters of my own
When they cross the line, I just pick up the phone
I call up my Mama and I say, "I'm gonna follow in your shoes"
"Gonna teach my kids a lesson with the wooden spoon"

I guess I learned my lesson, it's clear as the sky
Ain't nothin' more persuasive than a paddle on the thigh
It kept me on the straight and narrow, made me the man I am
And if my kids get outta hand, I know just what I'll do, hot damn...

Don't make me get the wooden spoon
It stings like the dickens, worse than a breakup in June
I'll tan your hide real good, teach you a lesson you won't forget soon
So straighten up quick, 'fore you feel the wrath of the wooden spoon