The fridge is cold, the freezer's colder
Pappy's old, Grandpappy's older
Tulsa's bold, Boulder's bolder
Love is blind, if you blindfold her
Grass is green, Envy's greener
Nicorette's for nicotine-ers
Snakes is mean, but women's meaner
Cause I had one, you should've seen her
The night is black, my future's blacker
Says Zemo the Zodiac-er
Daffy Duck is a real good quacker
Saddam Hussein is a bad Iraq-er
Life is hard, golf is harder
There's April, May, and June Carter
Einstein's smart, I think I'm smarter
Won't sell my soul, but I might barter
And I've drunk Budweiser down on Bourbon Street
And rubbed hand lotion on my girlfriend's feet
Life can be so silly, it can really blow your mind
So stay amused, pay your dues, 'cause it's worth every dime
If you like Buddha, be a Buddhist
If you want new, be a nudist
My girlfriend says I'm the cutest
Et tu Brute'--Is that you, Brutus?
Sex is great Love is greater
One is done sooner than later
If you want more butter on your tater
You can telephone, or you can tell a waiter
And I've drunk Budweiser down on Bourbon Street
And rubbed hand lotion on my girlfriend's feet
Life can be so silly, it can really blow your mind
So stay amused, pay your dues, 'cause it's worth every dime
Well, the sky is blue, denim's bluer
I like my jeans older than newer
A cowboy's life is part horseshoer,
Part horse sense, horse flies and horse manure
Clinton said I didn't do her
You spanked my wife- didn't know you knew her
Well that's all folks, I'm a-thankin' you-er