Sunday nights that you wanna
Black velvet cake
Sweetheart can bargain
Half price mistakes
She will go down with her ship
Like a good captain
You"re sitting on the dock playing for
An audience of one
Oooooohhhhh!

Pacing your apartment, linoleum floors
Get a call from an old friend
She never like them before
He will drive all over three lanes
You sit tight, shotgun
Windshield wipers waving for
An audience of one

You came out from the country
Wearing momma's clothes
You were born in the city
Daddy's dominos
You need a record you can move to
Well we got one
Drop the needle
We are playing for an audience of one
Drop the needle
We are playing for an audience of one

One gets all of you, two's jealous
Three gets even less
Four divides you up then your left
Pleasing all your guests

Reach out your pointy finger
And touch the globe
Spin around and where it stops
You've got to pack your bags and go
Land in the Mojave Desert
Sing for the sun

Three's too many when you're playing for
An audience of one
Two's too busy when you're playing for
An audience of one
One's the only way you're playing for
An audience of one
Ooooohhhhh!