If there was a chance that I
Really could be your guy
I might just smoke my old
Life in the black and mild
I get so hyper fixated on
Where you have been
And who you have dated
I hate to say this
But I've become jaded
I want revenge
Or to be sedated
I'll lay in my grave
And count down the days
Till you waste away
And join me in angst
Fadin' to black
More like a shade of grey
The way that you tempt me
I give in and pray
That this addiction
To my love will pass
I thank you for blessings
Just know I'll relapse
This habit
To break all I've built
And drown in my guilt
God it's a task
That I can't fulfill
I'll take this drill to my skull
And surgically
Remove what's hurting me
Making me dull
Purposefully
I'll end up digging another hole
This is inevitable
This is the cycle
I'll put on a new skin like Michael
And shed the old
Give it to Christ
He spared his life
So that when I die
I might rise from the dirt
And put off the hurt
The words "I am"
Have a new meaning
I'm not my past
My mistakes or my demons
I am new
I will cleave
To what I receive
Each breathe that I breathe
Comes from above
But why does feeling so good
Have to be so wrong
So I write these songs
About whatever I feel
I'll do my best
And you'll do the rest
That was the deal