There was a young man named Arthur Gordon
Heir to a large family fortune
Walking 'round, all prissy and full of himself
Pissing money, showing his wealth

Built a little shrine to the Gordon name
Hyped it from his front-row seat at all the games
Opened a restaurant, called it, guess what?
Arthur's, of course, he did strut his stuff

Heir Gordon
Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee
Heir Gordon
His life sure looks good to me

Got a little Brylcreem, a dab will do
Droppin' funny acid, a tab or two
Wearing undergarments from a Mormon friend
Touching all the bases 'round the Cub Scout den

Heir Gordon
Got a lot of money but he ain't worth a damn
Heir Gordon
Makes me feel just like a man

Heir Gordon
Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee
Heir Gordon
His life sure looks good to me

Heir Gordon
Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee
Heir Gordon
Why is he doing all these nice things for me?
Doing such nice things for me?