In heaven there is no beer
(No beer)
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer

In heaven there is no wine
(No wine)
So we drink till we feel fine
And when we leave this all behind
Our friends will be drinking all the wine

In heaven there is no fear
(No fear)
So we worry too much here
And we drink ourselves full of beer
To help us when we deal with the fear

In heaven there are no drugs
(No drugs)
That's why we hang with thugs
And when the Lord pulls the plug
All the thugs will still be selling drugs, yeah

Thugs and drugs, beer
Oh yeah

In heaven there is no sex
(Oh no)
So let's do that next
(Do that)
And when our muscles no longer flex
Someone else will be having sex

In heaven there are no wars
(No wars)
Or cars, or movie stars
And when we no longer are
The world will probably still be having wars
What the heck, yeah yeah

Sex and war, bars and cars
Drugs, thugs and delicious food, hey