Verse 1
In a feeding frenzy, don't bruise the shield, just shoot to kill
Shakespearean tragedy is how I truly feel
Analgesic ain't enough for what I choose to heal
Going through the motions ever since Jesus took the wheel

Emotional rollercoasters morphing into mood swings
Waltz a mile of tight rope in my shoes on a shoestring
Wages of sin is death, I hope my cheque is paid
Turned away at heavens gates is going straight to my resume

The reverend claims I'm condoning sin
Cos i handle Existential dread with ill coping whims
Patience growing slim, Morale is low and dim
If the walls have ears, listen, keep closing in

Between a rock and a hard place trying to pave the way
Dreaming in color, reality is a big shade of grey
Expectations high, wins low
Defenestrate me the slightest opportunity I miss the window

Verse 2
If my company is what misery holds
Downhill with the cornerstone on a slippery slope
No sympathy votes, but I'll shriek in fear, switching gears,
Going through the motions with no glimmer of hope

Old habits ain't providing respite from my woes
It's a sickness unto death I disguise it with prose
Despair in the air, choices I decisively chose
Truth ain't a bitter pill to swallow if you're precise with the dose

Unbelief penciled this way in my skeptical phase
Heaven's brigade claim sin is a debt to be paid
Critical case of being stuck in a liminal space
Or a dialectic relation between misgivings and faith

Aching soul is what vengeance gave
Had issues, but scar tissue receipt for penance paid
Situation was grave, not ready to get past it
Digging up the past, not ready to bury the hatchet

Verse 3
To my ex in seething rage, don't be dismayed
The preacher says we get comeuppance for our wicked ways
I feel malaise, from years of disowning the truth
Walking on egg shells, the chickens have come home to roost

I still grieve the misdeeds that made the trust plummet
You wanted a lifeline, I hung you out to dry on it
Sow deceit, and so you'll reap the most blame
Gaslighting turned an initial spark to an old flame

Had me stressed, sins of the father starts to manifest
Sad, depressed, my emotions are a tragic mess,
Rapid breaths to that effect as the panic sets
Mid-life crisis, and I just turned 30 bless

It's past tragic the bad habits I had as I reflect
On memories completely tainted with mad regret
No model to emulate. Revenge is cold serving
Looking for footsteps to follow, I'm still soul searching