I'm never gonna be the handyman around the house my father was
So don't be asking me to hang a curtain rail for you, because
Screwdriver business just gets me confused
It takes me half an hour to change a fuse
And when I flicked the switch the lights all blew

I'm not your handyman

Don't be expecting me to put up shelves or build a garden shed
But I can write a song that tells the world how much I love you instead
I'm not any good at pottery so let's lose the T and just shift back the E
And I'll find a way to make my poetry build a roof over our heads

I know it looks like I'm just reading the paper
But these ideas I'll turn to gold dust later
'Cause I'm a writer not a decorator

I'm not your handyman