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Um, hey. Um, how are you? We haven't spoken in a while. I, uh, hope your mom is doing okay. I know that she called me last week
Uh, I didn't call her back, though. I was just so busy and..

Okay, I'm just gonna cut the shit. I know this probably won't mean anything to you, especially not after what I did, but I'm sorry. I am, and I don't know how many times I have to say it
This isn't just me trying to lighten my shoulders from what I did, either. I've been thinking about some stuff for a while now, and I just, I realized just how much of a jerk I was to you
There's some stuff I really wish I could take back and undo, but I did them, and I can't rewind it
You have every right to dodge my calls. I wouldn't want to talk to me, either, but the one thing about leaving a voicemail is you won't be able to hang up on me before I finish

I mean, I'm not trying to make light of this. I screwed up. I did. And I really wish that I could just go back in time and give myself a smack in the face for what I did, but I can't
So now I have to live with the fact that I hurt you and that I ruined everything that we had in just, like, so little time
It made me realize just how fast you can lose something, and I don't think I ever wanted to come to that realization, but there's really nothing I can do about it now
Even though your mom calls me from time to time to check on me, a part of me, even though I know it probably won't happen, but a part of me really wishes that it was you calling me

Leaving a voicemail, it's not the same as listening to your voice just so I can tell you how truly sorry I am. I'm sorry for the lies. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry for the fact that I couldn't step up and tell you what was going on
I'm sorry. And because I couldn't face you, I had to resort to a fucking voicemail
It honestly makes me wonder what you ever saw in me, because I'm so pathetic. I mean, if what I did to you wasn't enough, it's the fact that I can't even talk to you face to face
I can't even look you in the eyes without thinking about what happened. And that says a lot about me, doesn't it

It says a lot about me. But I didn't want to give you a sob story or a pity party. I just wanted to apologize, and you don't have to forgive me
I really don't want you to, but I just wanted to tell you. I just wanted to, whether it be for you or myself, but I just wanted to give some closure. If not in person, then like this
I'm too much of a coward to face you directly. We already know this. Honestly, listening back on all the things I've said, I realize just how stupid I sound
God, I'm so stupid. There aren't enough sorries in the world to even come close to making up for what I did

And I'm not going to pretend like there are. I honestly don't even know why I'm still talking at this point. You probably stopped listening the moment you saw it was me
But I'm here now. Might as well get it all out while I can, right? Now the words I'm sorry, they seem too empty for me to say to you
And you don't deserve that. But I just, I can't think of anything else to say other than that. Because I don't have anything else to say other than that
Well, I think that I was able to get out when I needed to. It might not have been everything

But I'm pretty sure a voice message box has a limit. I really hope that you listen to what I said. I mean, you don't have to call me back, but I just really hope that you listen to this
Goodbye