Well i worked on a garbage
Scowl near the Neutral-Zone
And i'm sure you've heard what occurs
When a fellow is alone
Well i was mighty lonely there 'till
I met a man named Jones
But he sold me a muff, covered in fluff
So i wouldn't have to spank my bone!

So grab yourself a Tribble and
Then you're good to go
If you've got enough?
Quadrotriticale you'll have
An endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and
Slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles:
They're fuzzy and their
Cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he
Can never find the hole!
Well that mate there is Scotty
He's our chief engineer
And he's never had a ho
'cause most don't know: He's
Queer as Vulcan beer
I caught him with some tribbles i said "Man
Are you dumb!?
Hear my song: You're doing it wrong!" he
Was shovin' them up his bum

So grab yourself a Tribble and
Then you're good to go
If you've got enough?
Quadrotriticale you'll have
An endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and
Slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles:
They're fuzzy and their
Cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he
Can never find the hole!

Klingon Captain Koloth he's mean
As he is shrewd and on shore leave
He got us peeved because he's very rude
We beamed all of our tribbles
To Koloth and his crew
But from the yells we couldn't tell
Just who was raping who

So grab yourself a Tribble and
Then you're good to go
If you've got enough?
Quadrotriticale you'll have
An endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and
Slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles:
They're fuzzy and their
Cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he
Can never find the hole!

Bones says these critters are all
Pregnant when they're born
I had just 1 now i have 1, 000 maybe more
I got so many now i know just what to do
I think i'll start an interstellar
Heavy petting zoo! Haha!
I was on K7 when i saw Mr jones
And i gave him what-for and said what's more
"I'm here to pick a bone!"
That tribble that you sold me: it
Didn't have a hole to screw!
"You dope!" he said "You don't screw them!
You let those things screw you!"

So grab yourself a Tribble and
Then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale
You'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and
Slathered up my rump
'cause the nice thing about these
Tribbles: They're fuzzy and they're
Cute and you can put them in your bum
They're fuzzy and they're cute and he
Can put them in his bum

So go back to your quarters and
On your bunk you lay
Ya hope and pray that on our way
We pass a bird of prey
The tribbles hate the Klingons: They
Really make them go they get irate
Then they vibrate up in your Heiney hole!

So grab yourself a Tribble and
Then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale
You'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and
Slathered up my rump
'cause the nice thing about these
Tribbles: They're fuzzy and they're
Cute and you can put them in your bum
They're fuzzy and they're cute and he
Can put them in his bum

These tribblesboldly goingup in
Your frackin' hole!