Well, I had myself a girlfriend
For almost two whole years
We had no secrets
We had no fears
There was nothing we wouldn't do
When we were in the sack
She'd even pop the zit on my back

But one night I was out cheating
After I drank a few
She caught me red handed
And said we're through
Now she's got a new boyfriend
It nearly gave me a heart attack

'Cause who's gonna pop this zit on my back?
Well I got a pimple and I don't know why
It keeps growing in the same place
I can't reach it with my left or right hand
I wish it was on my face
It's four days old
And it hurts so bad
But it's ready for a squeeze
Won't somebody pop it for me please?
I'll give you ten dollars

If you're a girl in this lonely world
And you're looking for a guy
I'll never cheat again, I promise
That's no lie
There's only one thing I ask of you
Could we name our first child Zak?
Oh, one more thing
Please pop this zit on my back

I'm dying here!
A pimple ay-hee
A pop-a-doodly-doo
Squirt heedly-hoo

Well I'm sitting alone by the phone
And no one seems to call
I try to scrape my zit off on the kitchen wall
Well that don't work, so I look around
And find a big shiny thumb-tack
Put it on the floor, lay down
Pop the zit on my back