I'd be stupid to give up. That's what I said back then. But I'm near a decade older and I'm still wondering when. I got the truth inside my holster. My fantasy in my crosshairs. A Russian roulette bullet-pointed existential nightmare. I owe it to myself, and everyone I love. Is this enough? I lust to wander an extra in sonder. A lantern without kerosene. Broken not burnt out I'm still stuck in somehow. A victim of self-parody. So come save me. I guess you didn't seem to notice but everybody ends up all the same. Dying. Slowly. But not as fast as I like. Another windy city midnight. A dead man's brigade, with thoughts going off like a hand grenade. I could've had anything I ever wanted. Four years and a shovel for their profits. Buried under doubt with a broken conscience. Headstone reads: tread lightly. I'm in too deep. I'm stuck in a rut. I've been dangerously out of touch. I'm a melancholy complacent. With all my answers adjacent. I'm a passenger in my own skin. So come save me.