What do you want from life?
To kidnap an heiress
Or threaten her with a knife?

What do you want from life?
To get cable TV
And watch it every night

There you sit, a lump in your chair
Where do you sleep
And what do you wear
When you're sleepin'?

What do you want from life?
An Indian guru
To show you the inner light

What do you want from life?
A meaningless love affair
With a girl that you met tonight

How can you tell when you're doin' alright?
Does your bank account swell
While you're dreamin' at night?

How do know when you're really in love?
Do violins play when you're touching the one
That you're lovin'? oh

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
Someone to love
And somebody you can trust

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
To try and be happy
While you do the nasty things you must

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?

Well, you can't have that
But if you're an American citizen, you are entitled to
A heated kidney shaped pool, a microwave oven
Don't watch the food cook
A Dyna-Gym, I'll personally demonstrate it
In the privacy of your own home
A king size Titanic unsinkable
Molly Brown water bed with polybendum

A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoetree, a year's supply of antibiotics
A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
And Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams

A new Matador, a new mastodon, a Maverick
A Mustang, a Montego, a Merc Montclair
A Mark IV, a meteor, a Mercedes, an MG
Or a Malibu, a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati
A Mac truck, a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped
A Winnebago, hell, a herd of Winnebagos
We're giving 'em away
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw

A Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot
Or a baby's arm holding an apple?