I'd like to propose a toast

Here's to the ladies who lunch...
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they're fat
And looking grim
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat-

Does anyone still wear a hat?

I'll drink to that

And here's to the girls who play smart-
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art
Wishing it would pass
Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinee, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's-
I'll drink to that

And one for Mahler

Here's to the girls who play wife-
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching a copy of LIFE
Just to keep in touch

The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools-
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch-
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed, it's a bottle of Scotch
Plus a little jest
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger-
Aaaahh-I'll drink to that
So here's to the girls on the go-
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies
A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch-
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch!
Everybody rise! Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!

Larry, I would like a cigarette