Hello there, I'm here today to talk about
the importance of independent venues
I'm also secretly hoping that by agreeing
to talk about the importance of independent venues
I will then be in a position to move away from playing independent venues

I'm no good with elocution
To get myself into the institution
So I can win some donkey straw
Get a frame and put it on my fuckin' wall

I wish I had the time
To be a wanker just like you
And maybe then, I'd be somewhere lovely and warm
Just like you

Elocution
Elocution

I wish I had the time
To be a wanker just like you
And maybe then, I'd be somewhere lovely and warm
Just like you

Hey, hey

It's a suicide mission
To go online and knock the opposition
But I don't want no donkey straw
Cos I wee'd in the corner near the stable door
And I buzz, career tabs death
Little one-liners
Little clever shithouse fivers
In the scope that the hands of the shite have took
Took to the pegs in the coats where the bones hang up
Hey

I wish I had the time
To be a wanker just like you
And maybe then, I'd be somewhere lovely and warm
Just like you

I'm no good with elocution
I'm no good with elocution

I wish I had the time
To be a wanker just like you
And maybe then, I'd be somewhere lovely and warm
Just like

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