Playin' on his slide-trombone
In a certain monotone
He was known as Mr Monotony
Any pleasant interlude
That would mean a change of mood
Didn't go with Mr Monotony.
Sometimes he would change the key
But the same dull melody
Would emerge from Mr Monotony

Folks for miles would run away
Only one preferred to stay.
She would come around and say:
"Have you got any Monotony today?"

They got married as they should
And around the neighbourhood
She was known as Mrs Monotony
They were happy as could be
And they raised a family
Six or seven little Monotonies

From another village came a snappy clarinetter
She heard him play and strange to say she liked him better
That was the end of Mr Monotony

Oh, she refused him when he tried
Bringing her back to his side
She just answered when he cried:
"Have you got any Monotony today?"
"Have you got any Monotony today?"
"Have you got any Monotony today?"

Bye, bye, Mr Monotony
Mr Monotony,
Is that you?
Hey, Mr Monotony

Oh, this playing is wonderful!
Oh, Mr Monotony, I come back to you any time.

Mr Monotony, don't go away
Surely I didn't really mean it!
Oh, Mr Monotony, I need you back