T’was not a handy man though he inherited land
With a dilapidated old structure
Now don’t you be casting aspersions
Just cos he’s dreaming of a barn conversion

All the manly farmers they be shaking their heads
Who by their looks were fixing to puncture
The balloon of his idyllic version
He was envisioning a barn conversion

In his mind he could see it so clearly
A place where his friends and his family could go
But as he fell from ladders
And through windows cheerfully
The local yokels
Got a first class slapstick comedy show

He was the talk of the town for every town around
They would laugh till their belly’s ruptured
But they never did cause him diversion
And now he’s living in his barn conversion

All the Old Ladies with their yarn perversions
They all so jealous of his barn conversion