Well Christmas is a coming
I'ts coming flippin' quick!
I'm gonna tell you of the things that really takes the mick.
I'ts just one thing im telling thee
I only want a chippy tea
I'ts 'coz im from Wigan me
I don't want Christmas dinner.

Turkey on my plate that's dry
It really makes me want to cry
The pigs in blankets want to die
I don't want Christmas dinner

In our kitchen mum works hard
Cooking all the scran
She'll have a little sherry
And then leave it to me Nan.

Parsnips, sprouts and all that tripe
my guts have just gone on strike
My insides have all gone outside
I don't want Christmas dinner.

Roasties are my favourite choice
The stuffing balls are rather moist
When I'm done I'll need a hoist
I don't want Christmas dinner

Christmas cake, I just can't take
It gives me such a belly ache
I'll eat so much that I wont wake
I don't want Christmas dinner.

In our kitchen mum works hard
Cooking all the scran
She'll have a little sherry
And then leave it to me Nan.

Babbys yed pey wet and chips
A butterd barm the spot would hit
A Dandy B washed down with it
I don't want Christmas dinner

Solo

On Christmas day the staff won't stay
In our local takeaway
I'll have to wait till boxing day
I don't want Christmas dinner

Festive grubs no friend of mine
Meat and potato pies are fine
Galloways are so sublime
I don't want Christmas dinner


In our kitchen mum works hard
Cooking all the scran
She'll have a little sherry
And then leave it to me nan

That's enough cant take no more
A trip down Wigan I must go
To Mr. Wu's for beef kung po
Instead of Christmas Dinner