Ready? Okay

Hi, I'll be your guide
I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side
Don't go to the Netherworld
Netherworld?
Did I say Netherworld? Never mind
I'm the B-to-the-double-E-J-F-U
And Jesus, I can't spell

Hi, He'll be your guide
He'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side

Let's all get naked
No
Ah, worth a try
I'm B-to-the-double-E-T-L-E to the J-U-I-C-E
Yeah

What is happening?
I understand that it's a lot to process
But the good news is you and your spouse
Died in your own house
That gives you clout
That means the two of you should stick around

Lucky for you I dropped by
Yeah, you seem like nice guys
A little on the Pottery Barn and dry white wine side
As for me, I've been scaring for millennia
I'm the bio-exorcist
Giving houses enemas
Flush out all the breathers
You can breathe easier
Stick with me
I'm like a ghost-zombie Jesus
Ghost-zombie Jesus

And I do it for the love of it
Money? Ah, who gives a shit?
I think we're a perfect fit
Come on, let's make out a bit

Yeah
Dead

It's the perfect day to die
'Cause this guy happened to be passing by
To give you control of your soul
Through the whole being dead thing (whoa)

The whole being dead thing
Oh yeah