Your excellence tried the best fighters
Who've adventured far and wide,
But I promise that you've never
Met a troupe so qualified.

There's Grog our mighty giant he's a simple-minded hulk,
And Percy's pepperbox can blow apart your fucking skull.

Nature hath no fury quite like Keyleth the Ashari
Controlling plants and animals, she's a magical safari.

The twins Vex and Vax--she shoots, he hides in the pitch
They're stealthy and quite deadly,
But I forget which one is which.

He's Vax!
She's Vex!

Pike's divinity is pure, her hands can always heal
Oh, and did I mention we have a bear? Trinket. No big deal.

And as for myself?

My name is Scanlan, the man with the fat purple hand,
My music's the jam, goin' ham, ya can't stand it,
Get some water, hide your daughters--
Ahem!
Oh, uh...sorry.

Brave warriors are we and far more clever than a fox
They'll tell tale of our exploits in the Legend of Vox

Machina!