My hair is dirty and I smell like dog.
Can't sleep living in a fog and I don't know the last time I put on shoes.
I make my way to the living room.
Lay on the couch like I'm in King Tuts Tomb.
I don't know what to binge watch. I can't choose.

I'm feeling achy and fat like I've been hit by a bat.
Tired of doing nothing all day.
I jump into the shower.
I don't get out for an hour. Watching the water drip down the walls.

Chorus:
I talk to myself every night.
I sing a little song to make me feel all right.
I drink till I'm stupid all day long.
I'm losing my mind so I wrote this song.

Try to relax and have a cup of tea.
I swap it out for a shot of whiskey.
Never been a drinker but I can't stop.
The dog's giving me dirty looks.
She's sick of me and wants to eat my books. She's tired of eating pizza with a weenie on top.

What an interesting twist that all the things that I've missed I used to hate.
I want to go back to work.
I want to be Captain Kirk and hop in a spaceship.
That's my fate.

Chorus
Nah nah nah nah
Solo
Chorus