Grandma
Yes Dear
Why is the world so scary
Well sonny boy there are many reasons
Why it's a very scary world out there
Could you tell me the story of why we live on the land
Oh how I remember I'll never forget
A time long ago A time that feels so long ago
Better get home grandma
You left your shower running and the washing machine

There's a Lithuanian in the engine
What are you doing here
Cause I want you to be in my life
Why must we fight over the breadknife
Grandma wake up
And scene

Across the pond In a little town
Lived the short stout Bobby Brown
Cut his grass With a sharpened axe
Never paid a dime in tax

But long behold there was a bear
With much not to long for or care
Drunk on rage and ketamine
He had a hunger for Bobby's spleen

Save him save him he wants to be free
He's got no one trying to help him or to save me

Raised by family but not his mom
Bobby at a young age was banished to Guam
Grandma was baking all night long
Until she died from nothing at all

The Bob man raised his axe
The bear fired right back
The bitch of a bear was so cruel to him
It's almost like his milk wasn't skim

Save him save him he wants to be free
He's got no one trying to help him or to save me

Oh Boy Grandma what did he do?
Well
Step one Buy a boat
Step 2 Empty your current perishings
Step 3 Kill all the ducks not just one duck all the ducks
Step 4 Open a window close the window
Step 5 Open Microsoft Windows Close Microsoft Windows
Step 6 Sell the boat
Then the children shall be saved the Mayor then exclaimed with much joy
But a tad of sadness as he no longer had a boat
He then proceeded to invest into the Bird market
Because he killed everyone is his blugh
Grandma you okay grandma no gramgram slam jam grandma

Bobby Tar went to Hollywood and became a movie star
He transferred from music and threw away his guitar
He liked to make movies about his favorite food
And all the people loved him for his laid back attitude
His movies focused on bacon which was the color blue
The public soon found out something that he never knew
He was wrong about the color and it hurt him in the bank
Instead bacon was turquoise and his whole career it sank

Distraught with his career Bobby left on an epic quest to find Grandma
The fact that she died while baking her famous cake
Was meaningless to his quest
He would find the best Necromancer in town and
Force him to revive Grandma even if he had to smack a bitch
Bobby Yobby felt once he saw the red stop sign
That it was time to find his Grandpa's friend Blinkodared
Blinkodared was a blobfish not just any blobfish
But the meanest nastiest rootenest-tootenest blobfish to ever fly the Seven

But before that all happened there was a man by the name of Jo Jinnan Jr
That was on a quest for the easy bake oven to be cooked into a cookie
He went to the local pawn shop to pick up the unholy machine
And cry his sorrows away when all the sudden behind the counter
He saw the hand of Mr Hand
The hand spoke to Jo Jinnan Jr and said What do you want in this life Jo
Jo replied Mr Hand I would like to be cooked in this oven
And baked into a cookie Mr Hand
The hand picked up Jo

After they arrived at their destination by hand travel
They then said their goodbyes by hugging and a French kiss on the hand
Au revoir ma chérie said Jo Jinnan Jr
J'ai mangé mon pain à l'ail ce matin Mr Hand said before he flew away
Jo Jinnan Jr then got into the oven with the heat
At 200135 degrees fahrenheit or 111168 degrees Celsius
For anyone not in the United states of America Liberia or Myanmar
He was cooked for 309 days with a dash of base gravel number 3
He popped out and was turned into a cookie He was so happy
He went on to pen the best seller
8 Charmingly Delicious Recipes Using Base Gravel number 3
Later on he found his soulmate in an unmarked vile
Her name was Arsenic
And while her career was as a doping agent
In semiconductors for solid state devices
She also had a wonderful talent for preserving wood
Later in life she also penned a best seller called how to harden shot
They went on to have a baby named Bunko
And in case you're wondering no
We do not have a joke for that one

He was living his normal life
Until he heard a knock at his door in his 48 story mansion
He opened the door and said Is it bacon time again
But standing before him was Mr Hand
Mr Hand said We had a deal Mr Jo Jinnan Jr
Jo replied with fuck you hand
Mr Hand promptly throttled that motherfucker and said
You forgot to read the back of said contract Mr Jo Jinnan Jr
Mr Hand explained that on the back of the contract was written
One day you will be a child's favorite food
Hwuhluh huh huh said Jo
Mr Hand lifted him and carried him back to the easy bake oven
Jo Jinnan Jr was sobbing uncontrollably
During his scenic Hand travel
Mr Hand said Au revoir mon biscuit croustillant
Jo replied with no veilleuz mon belle main
But Mr Hand dropped him into the deep dark abyss called the toy oven
Which isn't actually that threatening when you think about it
Mr Hand flew away and was never heard from again because later that day
Mr Hand flew to oblivion and was transformed by the universe
To become the thing we all know today asMr Foot
But anyway, Jo Jinnan Jr was dropped into the eazy bake oven
Where he was cooked for an extra 4 seconds but this time
When he came out he was faced to face
With the giant monster baby named "Johnny Boi"
And he was eaten

So now that jo jinnan Jr is right and dead
We can revisit our main character Bobby Gonzalez
Blinkodared gave bobby all the tools he needed
To revive grandma including the necronomicon Mr Foot's cosmic fungus
The key to the city obtained from mayor lickingtong
And a pill to induce an 8 foot steel reinforced megarection
Bobby loudly entered the funeral home and
Waltzed up to grandma's closed casket
Brandishing his tools of resurrection
He then realized that he had interrupted the touching eulogy
As delivered by Grandma's dear friend and
International business colleague Luben Wideload
Bobby quite frankly didn't give one single shit
Because grandma was alive again
Grandma broke through the lid of her casket and declared
I am alive now Let us party

Stanley was found in s great big huff
To get banana bread for ten cents off
He ate it right there in the store
And then died before he was mature
The badness from the world vanished
But two days later it was unbanished
The pope got in the popemobile
And the holy land he tried to steal
Crusades, he said, aren't just for suckers
So deus vult motherfuckers
Rasputin made the great gum tree
4 Ounces of panda is given to yee

Bobby Bobby where the fuck is Bobby
Bobby Bobby Bobby Brown

Bobby Qyesidilla made it home
When he met Staney Sexy of the Rhodes

Hes on the run
Hes no fun
He can't go home
Hes on the run
He's on the run
He ain't fun
He can't go home
He's on the run

North Dakota he is from
Men from there are second to none

Hes on the run
Hes no fun
He can't go home
Hes on the run
He's on the run
He ain't fun
He can't go home
He's on the run

14th removed, half sister's mailman
Foxhound's pizza's roomate Sweesh

Hes on the run
Hes no fun
He can't go home
Hes on the run
He's on the run
He ain't fun
He can't go home
He's on the run

Lickingtong disposed of the VHS
With his friend Crockett
Who was still carrying his nobel prize
Around in his pocket

Hes on the run
Hes no fun
He can't go home
Hes on the run
He's on the run
He ain't fun
He can't go home
He's on the run

Crockett and Sweesh died at the grocery store

I will tell you a story that I tell my grandchildren
About a lovely lady named Cranston Dongle
Cranston lived on a plane of brimstone and hellfire
Known as England
Cranston once asked me one day
Oi mate you got a bottle of water

It was a deal it was a deal
She signed in blood (Signed in blood)
She was an empty broken motherfucker
Oh Cranston Dongle cranston dongle
Oh Cranston Dongle you make me fucking horny (Oh shit)

Dear My Cranston
You are looking fine
How do you think
Would you do cars
Cause we have hours afar among us
And bagels to eat
Do you understand
Actually I don't but I think I'd rather

Y Y Y Y Y Y
Q

Bobby gave up on game shows and to the pond he went
He met a giant fucking duck and he said to get bent
The duck was a veteran of the Third Great Duck War way back in 1486
And disco music played in the background the jukebox needed fixed

And that was the end of the
Mayor Crockett Sweesh Bobby and the Hand
Thanks for coming
Bitch