Tarzan wasn't a ladies man
He'd just come along and scoop 'em
Up under his arm like that
Quick as a cat, in the jungle
Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin' around in no jungle scape
Dumb as an ape, doin' nothing

Superman never made any money
Savin' the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he coulda smashed through
Any bank in the United States
He had the strength but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Planet crumbled, but Superman he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep goin'

Superman never made any money
Savin' the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

Tarzan was king of the jungle
And lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together
Four words, I Tarzan you Jane

Sometimes when Supe was stoppin' crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit
And turn his back on man
Join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city
Kept on changin' clothes
In dirty old phone booths 'til his work was through
Had nothin' to do but go on home

Superman never made any money
Savin' the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him