If ever, if only, if you need a friend when you're feeling lonely
I'll do whatever makes you feel better, if ever

If your fork ain't got a knife
If it's 4:45
If your team's in a slump
If you're watching forrest gump
If your moped gives you fits
If your tv's on the fritz
If your ""good-to-go"" is movin' slow, girl I wanna know

If ever, if only, if you need a friend when you're feeling lonely
If wanting, if waiting, has got you sick and tired of hesitating
I'll do whatever makes you feel better, if ever

If your smile gives you the slip
If your camper needs a trip
If your jukebox needs a dollar
Your howdy wants a holler
If your hip is out of joint
Your exclamation needs a point
Call me up, push to shove, we just might fall in love

If ever, if only, if you need a friend when you're feeling lonely
If wanting, if waiting, has got you sick and tired of hesitating
I'll do whatever makes you feel better, I am hoping girl you'll never say never
I’ll do whatever makes you feel better, if ever