My turntable is so cool
It knows exactly what to do
The Stooges sound like they're in my room
It plays The Fall right out-of-tune
Paid 50 bucks for it the other day
At a garage sale 'round the way
It plays records how they are meant to be played
Can't picture any other way

And it's black
And it's cool
And it knows just what to do
I wouldn't swap it for the world
It's my turntable
I tried all the major brands
I played all my favorite bands
The salesmen couldn't understand

What I wanted
What I wanted
I don't need one that plays five CD's
Picks up signals in Japanese
I don't want one that doesn't please
Please me, me
And it's black
And it's cool
And it knows just what to do

I wouldn't swap it for the world
It's my turntable
It's my turntable
My journey ended the other day
I found the one that suits in every way
Sat up my favorite record to play

Jonathan never sounded so great
And it's black
And it's cool
And it knows just what to do
I wouldn't swap it for the world
It's my turntable